At the end of the day

Yesterday evening, as the sun was setting, the old Sunday evening melancholy crept over me. For one thing, I wanted to be in Stellenbosch with every bit of my strength. There are times when the normal rhythm of the day subsides and deeper thoughts have their turn at the top of the stack. Sunday evenings are such times. What gets buried under layers of necessity crawls through the crevices. It is such times that my longing for my own country and hometown overwhelms all other considerations.

It is when we would call a few mates and quickly put together a barbeque as the sun sets. We'd be around the fire all evening, staring at the stars and chatting all sorts of bull until the small hours. We'd revamp the national rugby and cricket teams, sort out the national politics, put Bush in his place, joke over Tony Blair, and solve all local relational issues over a few six packs.

On a Saturday night we would even pack up and go out to a club in Cape Town after the barbeque - why, the place stays open until 05h00. Or some weekends we'll load the Golf and slip off to Kogel Bay to have beers on the beach and pitch a tent for the night. Life is rich and free in my country. We may not earn dollars over there, but we have quality of life. Some things can't be bought even for a million dollars - like the freedom to party until 05h00 in the morning, to drink beer on the beach, to leave home and be in the mountains between coming from work and sunset. To sit on Stellenbosch Mountain and watch the sun set over Table Mountain is priceless. For everything else there is Mastercard.

In about 12 months I should have my Green Card - the right to stay in the US for as long as I want and work and live in the US where I can find these things. But deep in my heart lives a part of Africa and it will not leave. And in my veins flow Scottish and Dutch blood and a Euro-centric upbringing that drives a yearning in my soul for Europe. And all the time I live a misplaced live of necessity. I go through the motions of every day, send my money back home every two months and keep hoping to discover that life here in the US is more than just work and money and shopping and gadgets and a never-ending rush to nowhere at all.