Levels of indirection

Stellenbosser comes from Stellenbosch, as the name implies, which is a lovely little enclave of relative peace and quiet in an otherwise quite violent country. Perhaps it helps to be situated at the foot of lofty mountains in the heart of the wine district. Or perhaps it is the quintessential university town culture that is the catalyst. But maybe, it is just the rich community and high prices of property that filters out the uncouth. Whatever the reason, Stellenbosch seems a bit like Alice's Wonderland when compared to some parts of South Africa. We hear about intense crime, but we seldom experience it, at least in the wealthy neighbourhoods.

But sometimes fate strikes, like when my sister left me an SMS on my cell phone to call my mother. Now, my sister has a habit of only sending me messages under extraordinary circumstances, such as when the VHS recorder plays up or the car has shed its coolant on the road between school and home. Or, when SA wins a medal in the Olympic games. This time, the cryptic nature of the message did not bide well.

My sister, who does not count patience amongst her virtues, then went forth and sent me a further message to the effect that the house had been broken into but they were OK. Right, my house in SA, 17000 km away, had fallen prey to the common thieve. I was not sure what I was supposed to do about it. Get on the first aeroplane, with a big stick in my bag and go and clobber the thieve upon landing at Cape Town International? That's why we have police in SA. Of course, one has to phone them about three times to report the burglary before they would make an appearance at the crime scene. And the SAP will send out the forensic team after two days since the crime, very optimistic to find good forensic evidence of any kind.

To put crime in SA in perspective, according to statistics published in IOL, a person living in SA is 12 times more likely to be murdered than a person living in the USA and 50 times more likely to be murdered than a person living in Europe. Only Colombia has a higher prevalence of murder outside war regions. The reason for this level of violence baffles crime analysts in South Africa.

My dear mother and sister came off lightly. Only a few tools were stolen from the garage and nothing from the house that they could notice.

So, the government is now getting a little concerned. 2010 is 4 years away. World Cup fans will not want to worry about their safety. So, according to the SABC, the Minister of Safety and Security declared that the "Cabinet has endorsed a recommendation to commission a study on the matter by the Institute for the Study of Violence and Reconciliation." Great. I notice three levels of indirection here. How many do you spot?

1. The Cabinet endorsed --- nothing more than voting for something... No action yet. Level 1.
2. A recommendation --- super! More words. No action yet. Level 2.
3. To commission a study -- oh dear. Here we have levels 3 and 4. I have lost count. Save a nation with such a government.

Then followed the clincher: "Draft terms of reference are being formulated for presentation to Cabinet," he said. Draft terms of reference? My word, this man is the paramount of indirections.
If he were a pointer in a C program the poor compiler would quit in a fit of exasperation.

Reading that, I had enough. What a waffler. This is the twit who two months ago declared very arrogantly that those whiners over safety should pack and leave the country. Then followed the Jeppe shoot-out with police, which left the Minister of rather dark complexion, somewhat bleak around the ears.

It is his type that leaves my country bleeding itself dry of skilled manpower as the brain drain continues.